


LOTR Drabbles from 2005

by Melanie_Athene



Series: Drabbles & Such [2]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Double Drabble, Drabble, Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-09-21 17:34:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9559796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melanie_Athene/pseuds/Melanie_Athene
Summary: A collection of unrelated drabbles which originally appeared on LiveJournal. Ratings vary from G to Explicit. Ratings and any warnings that apply will appear in the notes at the beginning of each chapter.





	1. Stumbling in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Mines of Moria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written January 16, 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Which is worse: black chasms, or ghostly shadows flitting at the edge of light? Our footsteps crash and echo as we blindly follow Gandalf. No magic spell pretties this truth: we are buried alive in a tomb.

And yet...

No matter how dark the darkness, a faint scent of sunshine lingers in Sam's hair, and gold tints dance there like sunbeams on rippling water. The warm smile he bestows upon me brings heat flooding to my face.

Which hurts less: keeping silent, or sharing a secret? I am buried in indecision.

But Sam simply reaches out and takes my hand.


	2. Frodo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written January 16, 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


You are peacefully asleep in my arms, exhausted by our little walk out to the Mallorn Tree. I am content to hold you like this forever. No hurry, no worries, no fears. I am content to let the good clean heat of the afternoon sun burn the memory of darker fires from my mind...

Long lashes flutter, dream-filled eyes smile up at me in sweet bemusement.

“I love you, Frodo.” I murmur, burying my face in your fragrant, tousled curls.

Warm arms wrap around me. Gentle fingers brush a teardrop from my cheek. “I love you too, Dada,” you whisper.


	3. I Dare Not... I Cannot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Different voices and situations, yet their thoughts of love make them so very much alike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written January 21, 2005
> 
> Rated PG-13

~*~

  


I dare not say the words 'I love you'.

And so I show you how I feel each day. It's the little things, almost beyond notice, that mean the most, you see. Like knowin' how much honey you take in your tea... or sharpenin' your quills so you won't have to bother. It's makin' those little seed cakes that you like ... keepin' the firewood replenished... and fillin' your garden with fragrant blossoms...

I dare not _say_ the words 'I love you', Mr. Frodo. T'wouldn't be proper. T'wouldn't be right.

But I _think_ them all the time, with every breath I take.

  


~*~

  


I cannot say the words 'I love you'.

Words come so easily to me, flow so glibly off my tongue. I always know the proper thing to say: a joke to turn a barb... a clever phrase... some ancient tidbit gleaned from my studies...

But I look at you and find words are the enemy. How inadequate to simply say, 'good morning', when what I mean is, 'you shine fairer than the sun.' How tragic that 'thank you' substitutes for 'you are everything to me.'

I cannot _say_ I love you, Samwise.

But I _do_ , with all my heart.


	4. Storm Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bring your umbrella, folks, it looks like rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written January 22, 2005. 
> 
> This was an entry for Toilanddrouble's Challenge Number One: the subject of water-- in any of its myriad forms.
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


It never rains but it pours, it seems. We spent the last fortnight praying for deliverance, and now those prayers have been answered with a vengeance. My beautiful garden is a swamp. Flowers droop in disarray, stalks bent and broken, delicate petals scattered to the ground. My beautiful gardener droops too, his shoulders bent as he vainly labours to save his wards.

“Come in, Sam,” I call, cringing in my doorway, pelted by cruel nature's force. “Come in! There's nothing to be done.”

Admitting defeat, he obediently shuffles inside. It takes both of us to close the door.

Sam stares at me in silence as I shake raindrops from my hair. It is then I notice that the moisture lingering on his face has another cause. My Sam is crying. And this storm damage _I_ cannot bear. 

As my fingers trace the contours of his cheeks, he trembles slightly, as if shaken by a wayward breeze. As I touch his chin, he lifts his face up to me, as a flower turns its face towards the sun. And as our lips meet for the first time, something new and rare blossoms between us. 

No storm will ever break _this_ garden.


	5. In the Wilderness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wilderness I wander...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written January 24, 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


I rest my head upon your shoulder and close my eyes. In the wilderness I wander: no bed save hard stone, no blanket save your arms.

I am weary, Sam. I am heartsick and afraid. I am but a shadow of the hobbit you once knew: lost and sinking in the void.

And still you look to me for guidance. Still your faith in me shines brighter than the sun. When I look into your eyes I see myself as I used to be – as I hope to be again.

You wrap your love around me... and I am home.


	6. Another Dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through the long hours of the nights, the endless days, I have dreamed of how this might come to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written January 24, 2005
> 
> Rated NC-17/Explicit

~*~

  


Your clever hands caress me. I open to receive you, and you smile. A gentle kiss, as you slowly ease inside me. A moment's pain, but then the pleasure blooms. And as all gentleness is lost, I gasp and writhe and beg and moan.

I have longed for this, my love. Through the long hours of the nights, the endless days, I have dreamed of how this might come to be. I have imagined your touch, your taste... the words of love you speak....

I arch beneath you and we come together.

Please... don't let this be just another dream.


	7. Hobbits Are a Virus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me preface this by saying it was written for my daughter at her request, with 3 specific conditions in mind:  
> 1\. the main characters must be Elrond and Pippin  
> 2\. it must be rated G  
> 3\. it must be silly.
> 
> I achieved the first two conditions... but I think I overshot the mark on the third. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written February 13, 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


A strange breed, hobbits. The fire of their life burns so bright; the flame flickers and is gone. So if they speak more often or move more quickly, they may be forgiven what would be unseemly in an elf. Our fires burn low and long. Our flame is as constant as a star's, as peaceful, as serene.

But this young Took that runs through my once silent halls...

I never had a 'kick me' sign stuck to my back before. Never spooned out sugar and found it salt. Never had water unexpectedly drop on my head. As for discovering some slimy creature in my shoe...

No, I did not feel deprived for lacking in these things. Nor, having experienced them, did I wish to have them forgiven. I felt an urge to exact revenge.

And so I devoted myself to hours of research, meditated long and hard. Until at last I devised a perfect plan...

“Did you sleep well, young Master Took?” I inquired, as he joined us for the morning meal.

“Perfectly,” he beamed, and I frowned at him, perplexed.

But when I checked his room, I understood my mistake.

One cannot short-sheet a hobbit in an elvish bed.


	8. Tell Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tell me you love me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written February 14, 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Tell me you love me.

I long to hear the words your actions show. I am not blind, Sam. My portion of our meager rations is the larger share. Your hand is always there to catch me should I fall. You are my strength, my hope, my courage...

Tell me you love me.

You say there is no beauty in this land. But there is beauty in your soul. There is beauty beyond bearing in the way you care for me. Take my hand, look in my eyes, tell me you love me...

Let me tell you I love you.


	9. Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Now, Frodo-love?” you murmur, concern furrowing your brow.
> 
> “Now,” I reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written February 25, 2005
> 
> An entry for shy_writers' Drabble With Me Challenge.
> 
> Rated NC-17/Explicit

~*~

  


Slick slide of naked flesh on naked flesh. Sweet murmured words of love, silenced by sweeter kisses. Your touch mirrors mine: soft caress of hands; hard press of erections. The quick pulse of our hearts beats in perfect time.

“Now, Frodo-love?” you murmur, concern furrowing your brow.

“Now,” I reply.

The scent of lavender overpowers our body musk. I twitch slightly as cool oil and your warm hand surely prepare the way. You slip inside as if you've always known this is how it's meant to be.

Thrust and moan and thrust and...

“Oh yes, Sam. Now!” I sigh contentedly.


	10. Curls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Quest takes its toll on Frodo and Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written March 8, 2005 for Frodo's Curls Fan Club
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


One slow, painful step follows another. Up the slope they struggle, up and up and up. Even Sam no longer remembers why they make the climb. The journey _is._ Mr. Frodo is going. That's all that's important to Sam. And so he climbs. And so he lends a helping hand when Frodo slips or falls. He offers water, though he takes none for himself. He urges rest when it becomes obvious that his master can go no further this day.

Sweat has plastered Frodo's hair flat to his skull. He sinks to the cruel, barren rock without bothering to seek kinder terrain. Sam slumps to the ground beside him, slinging an arm around Frodo's shoulders and burying his face against his neck. A single tear drips from Sam's eye, landing on a strand of midnight-coloured hair and following the spiral down, down, down a stubborn curl.

"Sleep, me dear," he whispers, breathing in the familiar scent of home. Perhaps in dreams he'll see wild curls lit by sunshine, dancing on a breeze.

Frodo turns his head until his lips find Sam's. The kiss is soft and gentle, and just before they part Sam feels Frodo's mouth curl in a smile.


	11. The Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frodo waits for Sam.
> 
> Post Quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 1, 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Dawn tints the sky with pale light. Karnil, Elemmiire, Luinil... one by one the stars flicker and fade. I count them as they die, bidding farewell to each familiar companion of my long watch. Soon the sun will rise, as golden as his hair, and I will face another day. I will smile and hide the loneliness I feel.

 _He will come_ , a warm breeze whispers, running ghostly fingers through my hair.

 _I will bring him safely to you_ , promises the sea.

Standing knee-deep in salt water, I turn my gaze into the East. 

Perhaps today will be the day?


	12. Spring Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreary days of winter are finally at an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 7, 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


The dreary days of winter are finally at an end.

Eager shoots of green push through the rich brown soil, the promise of their colours shyly peeping from each bud. Brave daffodils wave gaily in a breeze, their perfume worth more than their weight in gold. Shades of blue bloom in the shadows, rimmed by bells of pristine white. The soft grey of pussywillows...

The pink blush upon a cheek curved in a tender smile. The earth-stained hands that gently greet each flower. The happy voice raised in a sweet song.

It's not my garden, it's my gardener I love.


	13. My Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Rivendell wingfic. Frodo's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 12, 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


So this is death. This is the eternity I face. Swirling shades of grey with trailing wisps of blacker shadow. Monsters lurk; their subtle, restless movements captured only by the corner of my eye. Rumbles of their discontent drown out the timid whisper of my heart. 

I am alone. I am afraid.

And when I turn my head, I see _him_. It is the Wraith Lord: his ghostly face wreathed in a ghastly smile; his cold, bone hands stretched out to claim his helpless prize.

“Elbereth!” I scream into the darkness. 

There is no reply. Elrond has worked his magic and met failure. I am lost.

But there is a light that glimmers...

A blush of pale hope that flickers and will not fade. Stronger now it gleams, until a shining figure of white appears, his fiery sword upraised in fierce warning.

The creatures of the dark fall back in fear and vanish.

The being slowly turns and lowers its sword. The light is dazzling, but not so blinding now. A cloud of snow white wings opens wide to offer me shelter. 

“ _Sam_ ,” I sigh. And fall into his light.

~*~

  


Off in the distance, a familiar voice calls out my name. The scent of flowers floods my senses. The softness of a pillow, the comfort of a bed. Home? I blink in dazed confusion and open heavy eyes.

“Frodo! Frodo, bless you, you're awake!”

Warm hazel eyes caress me. My hand lies firmly clasped in calloused palms; tears track wet trails down a smiling face. Sunlight streams in through high arched windows, touching on his golden hair, bleaching it a radiant white.

No sword, no fearsome splendor, but I would know him anywhere.

I turn my hand and curl it around Sam's fingers.

He is with me. I am safe.


	14. Bottom Curls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam loves Frodo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 15, 2005 for Frodo's Curls Fan Club
> 
> Rated NC-17/Explicit

~*~

  


I love the fragrance of Frodo's hair: all sunshine and sweet flowers. I love the colour: ebony and russet swirls. But most of all, I love the silken touch: the way it clings and curls around my fingers, the way it tickles against my nose as I lean to whisper in his blushing ear.

I love to trail kisses down the strong curve of his neck. I love to dip my tongue in the little hollow at the base of his throat. I love to follow the narrow line of hair that runs down his pale chest, pausing to nibble on each rosy nipple before continuing down, down the velvet path.

And there I find my treasure: erect and weeping; proudly rising from its nest of thicker, darker hair. I place a tender kiss upon the tip in greeting. I welcome each careful thrust until my lips press firmly into a warm cushion of tight curls. Frodo's pleasure fills my senses as up and down his shaft I slide.

I love the taste of Frodo. I love his scent, his sounds. I love the way his body opens to mine.

I love the way his toes curl when he comes.


	15. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I loved you from the first day that I saw you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 18, 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


I loved you from the first day that I saw you.

I lived a lifetime of stolen moments: a glance, a touch, a smile. I stored memories up like miser's gold, counting out my meager treasures each lonely night.

I never thought that you might feel the same. I never dared to stray too close, or let my gaze linger overlong upon your face. I never sighed your name, save in the silence of my room. I never let you see my tears.

But then one day I found you weeping. On that day, I finally let your eyes meet mine. And in the instant my old world shattered, it formed itself anew.

~*~

I take the hand you shyly offer and press it to my breast. I tremble as your lips shape my name.

Slowly you lean in towards me, wonder on your face. Slowly, I lean in to meet you, eyes as open as my heart.

Your lips are soft and warm, your breath is sweet. Your gentle hands slide up to frame my face, my arms slip firmly around your waist. Our mouths move together in an easy rhythm...

I have waited for this moment all my life.


	16. Making Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Quest.
> 
> Rosie is in a cleaning mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 19, 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


“Who would have thought Bag End would ever seem small to me? It was a castle -- as vast as Smaug's cave. But eight fauntlings later, and a new one on the way? It's getting crowded. We have to make space. I'll do it if you like.”

“No,” Sam answers quietly. “I'll do it.”

He slips off to the little room far back beneath the Hill: a refuge for those odds and ends we do not need, but haven't thrown away.

I leave him to his chore. Every now and then, I glance in the doorway. I see the stacks of discards growing. I watch Sam bundle each lot up with tender care...

~*~

  


It's almost dark and time for supper. The room is empty when I next peer in, and I smile contentedly. Over there, we'll place a cot for Ellie, and a nightstand and a chair. It's time she had a room to call her own. 

“Sam?”

He must be loading the last bit on the cart. Tomorrow we'll find someone who can make use of those old clothes. I turn to walk away. And then I hear it: the muffled sound of sobbing coming from behind the wardrobe door.


	17. Where Black Shadows Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more steps. Just a few more minutes. Just another day in a series of endless days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 21, 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Just a few more steps. Just a few more minutes. Just another day in a series of endless days. No food, no water, no shelter. The air chills me from above, the ground cuts me from below. And yet, somehow, I press on. I tilt my face into the wind, turning first one cheek and then the other into its cruel slap. I lift my foot and firmly place it on the next knife-edged stone.

Where I journey none should venture.

But the companion of my heart is by my side. His lips are cracked and bleeding; his tracks gleam red like mine. He walks with me in silence, here where black shadows lie.

We shall die here. We are dying. He can see it in my face.

But in his eyes I see green meadows. In his smile I see the sun. His arms are my refuge. His kiss tastes sweet upon my tongue. Hope nurtures me when all hope should be gone. His faith wraps its warmth around me.

Just a few more steps. Just a few more minutes. Just another day in a series of endless days. No food, no water, no shelter.

But there is love.


	18. What a Difference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a difference a year can make.
> 
> Post Quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written April 28, 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


What a difference a year can make. A year ago I bore the weight of the world. I was lost to despair and pain. I traveled the path to hell.

What a difference a friend can make. You never left my side. Your faith in me never faltered. You were my courage, my hope, my salvation.

What a difference a smile can make. I look into your eyes and see what was right before me all along. I step into your arms and you gently press your lips to mine.

What a difference your love has made in my life.


	19. I Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frodo wishes for many things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 25 Feb 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Love at first sight is a myth they say. And I believed this lie... until the day that I met you. One look in those soft hazel eyes and my heart was yours. One embrace and I was home.

I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me.

I wish that things were different.

I wish that you were mine.

One kiss, one stolen kiss one drunken night isn't enough. It will never be enough.

I wish I could say, 'I love you.'

But I guess that I don't have to tell you that. You already know.


	20. Morning Glories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a spot just outside of Frodo's bedroom window where the morning glories love to grow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 14 May 2005
> 
> Rated PG-13

~*~

  


There's a spot just outside of Frodo's bedroom window where the morning glories love to grow. It's sheltered from the wind there, and shaded from the heat of the afternoon sun. In multicoloured profusion, the flowers weave together: here the startling blue of Frodo's eyes, there the pale pink blush that spills across his soft white skin.

Sometimes a gentle breeze will shiver through the flowers, and the clinging vines will tremble, their tendrils clutching to the safety of the supporting poles. But the flowers relish the movement, and they sway in open pleasure, heads nodding to a music only they can hear.

 

There's a spot just outside of Frodo's bedroom window where one may stand and watch the dancing flowers. Or, if you turn your head just so, you may instead direct your gaze inside. It's cool and dark within the smial in the early hours of the morning, until the rising sun creeps in the window and spills its warmth into the silent room.

Sometimes, a slender arm will slowly venture from beneath a mound of covers. A shudder and a rustle and a tousled head appears: mouth parted in a yawn, blue eyes veiled by dark lashes, bare shoulder peeking shyly from the nightshirt that he wears.

Sometimes, Frodo rises in one lithe motion and drifts over to the window. Singing softly to himself in elvish, he leans his chin upon his hands, staring out into the garden and smiling at the flowers.

And sometimes he simply burrows deeper under the covers, and twines himself around the welcoming, golden body of the gardener that he loves. Arms curl, legs tangle, fingers tease and stroke and cling... lips meet, breaths mingle... And their dance is sweet and tender, and the morning glories are greeted by soft, joyful cries.


	21. Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words are the enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 17 May 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


I rehearsed my speech a dozen times this morning. In glib, silver streams the words rolled off my tongue. Each artful phrase, each syllable, smooth and polished. Enunciated, flawless in text and tone.

But here I stand before you, and I falter. I stumble, stammer, lose my practiced thoughts. The scent of flowers lingers in your clothing; your eyes caress me, warmer than the sun. Without a doubt, I know just what you're thinking. The truth of how you feel strikes me dumb.

And as I sink into your arms, my Samwise, your silence is the purest voice of all.


	22. Full Measure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit from Sackville-Bagginses riles Sam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 3 June 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Them Sackville-Bagginses came sniffing around again today. What they didn't touch with their greedy hands, they caressed with their hungry eyes. It makes me ill, it does. There's not a thing poor Mr. Frodo owns that they don't covet. From smallest teaspoon right on down to Bag End itself -- garden and gardener included!

Why can't they see that money and fancy possessions ain't the most important things in life? I feel sorry for them, I do. Hunched and horrid creatures of envy and despair, forever caged within the confines of their own narrow minds.

What makes them think they have aught that I would ever need? That they could tempt me with their promised wages?

The sun is molten gold upon my shoulders. I walk down paths of living, scattered gems: here the flash of amethyst, topaz, beryl, garnet... there the glint of diamonds in the morning dew... and everywhere bright emeralds gleam.

The moon paints silver highlights in ebon hair; like silk it rustles through my hands. What call for opals or ivory, when warm flesh blushes and glows at my slightest touch? I drown in sapphire eyes. Sweet ruby lips whisper my name...

I am rich beyond compare.


	23. Give and Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, post quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 6 June 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Once upon a time, I gave you a garden filled with the most beautiful flowers, nurtured with gentle ardour and wistful dreams.

In other, crueler times, I gave you food and water and never let you know there wasn't enough to share. I blanketed you with my arms. I gave you hope when you were hopeless. I smiled when I was full of tears.

I gave you love with every beat of my heart...

And in return you gave me all that you had and might have had.

But you took away the one thing that I always wanted: you.


	24. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Elanor find a bird with a broken wing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 7 June 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


We found a bird with a broken wing this morning. It was in shock, trembling and glassy-eyed with fear. I gently scooped it up, smiling as it sought shelter in the warm nest my fingers made.

“Can you help it, Da?” my daughter asked me.

“I will try, love,” I promised. “I'll splint the wing.”

“And I'll bring it food and water every day. And it will get better, won't it? And it will stay with us forever.”

“No,” I whispered, tears sliding down my cheeks. “It doesn't always work that way. Sometimes, Elanor, you have to let them go.”


	25. The Red Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Master of Bag End writes in the Red Book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 9 June 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


At the end of the day, when the last word has been written and his pen is set aside with a quiet sigh of relief, the Master of Bag End slowly leans back in his chair. Cramped and ink-smudged fingers gently massage his temples; wearily, he closes his eyes.

The silence of the smial wraps itself around him. The hour is late, he should be abed. But what peace would he find there? The words will not cease their flow. Things said, like 'I must leave you'. Things left unsaid, like 'I love you'.

Sam bows his head... and weeps.


	26. This Is My Shire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frodo, post quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 1 July 2017
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


This is my Shire. Green fields and rolling hillsides. Lush forests dappled with sunshine. Quick streams that tumble to the Brandywine. Familiar paths my feet have trod a thousand times.

These are my people. Their kind faces touched by the evil of the world beyond, but their spirits unbroken.

These are my friends, my dear companions. And here's the one I love above all others. His voice raised in a song, his hands buried in the soil.

This is my home...

But I must leave it.

For my eyes turn to the sunset. And I think I smell the sea.


	27. Watching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frodo suffers through a visit from his cousins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 15 July 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


They're watching me again. Whispering. Giggling. Following my every move with bright, curious eyes. I feel the onset of a headache.

This visit isn't going as I expected. I love my cousins dearly, but their obnoxious behaviour has to end. I'm going to have to say something to them about... about...

My gaze drifts to the window as a familiar shadow ghosts past, voice raised in a song. I smile.

Pippin burbles in his tea. My glance sweeps back in time to see Merry slip a coin into his cousin's waiting hand.

Never mind. I think they may already know.


	28. In the Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 15 August 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Once there was joy in this garden: comfort in the orderly rows of the vegetable bed, delight in a wild profusion of brightly coloured blossoms. Once there was love: hushed voices laughing in the sunshine; touch of hand, lingering kiss, breathless sigh. Once there was passion: tangled limbs and writhing bodies. Once, there was the bright promise of tomorrow...

Now regretful ghosts whisper in the shadows. Hope lingers like the scent of woodsmoke, growing ever fainter on the breeze.

Still the gardener remains. Still his lips curve in a smile. And he waits patiently for this long season to pass.


	29. Sleeping In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry and Pippin grow impatient for Frodo to join them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 15 August 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


“Frodo's still abed! I can see him sleeping the day away.”

Yes. I can see that too. I can see him lying there: hair tumbled on his pillow, dark lashes brushing pale cheeks, a faint smile on his lips. Arm outstretched as if to beg a touch. Fingers curled as if holding a kiss in his palm.

“Go rouse him for me will you?”

Blue eyes burning. Mouth trailing kisses, breath hot on my bare skin. Clinging... thrusting... Sinking peacefully into dreams as I climb out his window.

“Don't take no for an answer.”

Ah, Frodo never refuses me anything.


	30. What Can I Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post quest.
> 
> Rosie's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 26 August 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


What can I do? How can I bring a smile to your lips, lift the burden from your shoulders, bring you peace when there is no peace to be found?

I've given you my heart, my soul, my body. Time after time you have clung to me and wept. I've watched you tumble into restless dreams.

I used to hope that my love would be enough to make you whole... but every time I look into your eyes, I see I've failed miserably.

I lost you to him long ago, Sam. And I should have known that from the start.


	31. So Many Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too many words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 10 September 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Frodo stood at the window, forehead pressed to cold glass. His eyes were open, but he did not see the beauty of the garden.

 _So many words,_ he thought. Faster than any hand might write, thoughts tumbled through his head.

Sam stood framed in the study's doorway, hands clenched, eyes locked on the forlorn figure haloed by the light.

 _So many words,_ Sam mused. His toes kicked aside a sea of crumpled papers as he crossed the room.

“I love you,” he whispered, wrapping his lover in a warm embrace.

“Yes,” Frodo smiled. “That is what I wanted to say.”


	32. Nighttimes Are the Worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nighttimes are the worst, when the pleasant chatter of my family fades into silence.
> 
> Sam POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 11 September 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Nighttimes are the worst, when the pleasant chatter of my family fades into silence and night wraps itself around me, dark as his hair. In those lonely hours, denied the sleep my weary body craves, I pace through silent rooms, sure feet tracing oft trod paths. Moonlight flickers though a window and spills its pale, cold light out though an open door. I follow this siren call into the study, breathe in the scent of ink and paper, pipeweed and leather. Familiar scents that whisper 'Frodo'.

If I turned my head, would I see him sitting there, head tilted to one side, lost to his writing? Would the chair sit empty even of his ghost?

Without risking a glance towards the desk, I quietly walk away.

A whimper rises in my throat and my steps grow faster. Down the hall and through the kitchen. Quickly, quickly, now. Unlatch the door and flee into the night. Through the garden and up the hill. Away, away! Before the sobs that tear my chest escape me.

I cannot let them hear.

I cannot let them know.

I cannot live like this!

I cannot...

But I promised that I would. And so I must.


	33. Triage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post quest. 
> 
> Sam POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 13 September 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


_Assess the damage._

Wounded unto death. Lost to despair. I close my eyes to hide the pain, but I cannot prevent a flood of tears.

_Stop the bleeding. Apply firm pressure to the wound._

Hands flutter to my breast. I cannot breathe, I cannot speak. Nine precious fingers, they are all that keep my heart from bursting from my chest.

_Treat for shock._

His lips caress my forehead. “I will wait for you,” he whispers. “We shall be together again one day. Forever.”

_Move on._

And he is gone... Leaving me to wonder, just how do I manage to survive?


	34. Fretting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post quest.
> 
> Sam POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 14 September 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


He hasn't stopped staring at me since I got here. Those luminous eyes follow my every move. It's somewhat disconcerting.

Have I changed that much?

I swear I'll burst if I eat another bite. A dozen hobbits couldn't do justice to the mound of food he's offered.

I push my chair back from the table, and he leaps to his feet.

Fretting, that's what he's doing. Hovering over me like a mother hen with but one chick.

Sit down, Frodo. I don't need a jacket or a pipe.

Pit-pat. His restless fingers touch my sleeve, my hand, my face. Every time I turn around he's right behind me.

“Relax, love,” I murmur, and draw him into my arms. “It's really me. I'm really here.”

He melds our lips together. His cheeks are wet with the tears that tumble down his face, but I can feel the curve of his sweet smile. His body wraps itself around me... And I am lost. Lost to Frodo's kisses. Lost in the wonder of his love. Lost and found and carried safely home.

Mr. Bilbo's gentle laughter trails behind him as he steps through the smial door to greet another glorious Tol Eressëan day.


	35. Birthdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SAM POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 22 September 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Birthdays never meant that much to Mr. Frodo. They were just another day. But years passed and no wrinkles marred his perfect face. He stood outside the reach of time.

There's been a lot of speculation about my master. Rumours that he's more elf than hobbit. Gossip that he thinks himself too fine.

But I always felt he had an air of anticipation about him. A sense of quietly waiting for that moment when he might step back into time's sure flow.

It wasn't just the magic ring he carried.

One kiss, and I knew.

He's been waiting for me.


	36. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Bilbo's birthday, and it's time to go.
> 
> Bilbo's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 22 September 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


I love a good party. Plenty of food and ale, friends and family milling about. There's nothing like it. Laughter... chaos... the very sky on fire...

Burn the memory of this day into my mind. Long may it linger in my heart.

Let these be the images of the Shire I carry with me: let me see his smiling face in those moments before I vanished from his life; let me see him safely wrapped in Sam's embrace, lips parted on the breath before a kiss.

“You're a Baggins, lad,” I whisper. “You'll be alright.”

I turn and walk away.


	37. Odd One Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post quest
> 
> Rosie's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 3 October 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


They're doing it again. Shutting me out. Oh, I know they don't mean to do it! Both lads are too kindhearted for playing tricks like that. It's just that they don't really need anyone else around. They're complete so long as they're together.

Frodo takes a breath and Sam breathes it out on a sigh. Frodo reaches for something, and Sam lays it in his hand. One stops speaking in the middle of a sentence, and the other listens as if the words go on.

I never saw two partners more in step. It's not their fault if I can't hear the music, if I stumble gracelessly through their effortless dance.

They try their best to include me, bless their hearts. Frodo brings me tea and plays with Elanor. Sam rubs my feet and tells me of his day.

But when evening falls and we're all sitting snug around the fire, it's not my smile Sam coaxes, not my eyes he holds. The kiss he brushes on his master's brow as we rise to seek our beds tells a story, plain as plain. A blind hobbit could see it -- why can't they?

What am I doing here? I don't belong.


	38. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post quest
> 
> Sam's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 4 October 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


And so we've said farewell and you've turned and walked away. The eager ship leaps forward to embrace the tide. The distance between us widens with each heartbeat, each white-tipped wave.

So much remains unsaid. But, then, we never needed words. We knew each other too well. There was a sonnet in your gaze, a symphony in your touch.

My world lies silent now.

But I still have purpose. You've mapped out a life for me and I will faithfully tread the paths you've chosen. I will follow, no matter how long the journey takes.

This I promise you, Frodo.


	39. At Harvest Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A harvest moon shines on the Shire...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 19 October 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


A harvest moon shines on the Shire, and the bounty of the season is safely tucked away for future need. Now it is time to celebrate, time to gather by a bonfire and dance and sing and tell the tales of old.

Tales that leave the children's eyes round with wonder. Tales that follow them into dreams. 

Tales that inspire one to action.

That very night, young Samwise Gamgee creeps from his smial and sneaks off to the gardens of Bag End. And there he sits, with bats fluttering overhead and silvery moonlight streaming down. Silent and resolute, he waits as the long minutes tick away, for he knows that if he is truly patient, and does not fall asleep as he has in previous years, then from the evening mist will rise a ghostly figure, with pockmarked skin and eyes like stars. On his back the mysterious being will carry a burlap bag, filled with sweets and wondrous treasures to delight a child's heart.

_Yes_ , Sam thinks drowsily, _this will be the year... the year I meet The Great 'Tater..._

“Good grief,” Frodo says fondly, as he picks up the slumbering fauntling and carries him home to Bagshot Row.


	40. The Red Book II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do I exist outside of the words I write? 
> 
> Frodo's POV
> 
> Post quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 10 November 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


Do I exist outside of the words I write? Lines on paper, is that all I am? Black ink, dark as the memories that tumble through my mind. White page, bleak and barren as the empty days.

This writing that consumes me, how can that be my life? If I turn the pages back, could I regain all that I've lost?

Set the book upon a shelf and let it rest amidst the other dusty tomes, untouched by another's hand as I am untouched... beyond hope's reach...

Let a real hero tell the tale. I have nothing more to say.


	41. If I Could

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I could, I would prepare a feast for you, Mr. Frodo.
> 
> Sam POV
> 
> Set during the Quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 24 November 2005
> 
> Rated G

~*~

  


If I could, I would prepare a feast for you, Mr. Frodo, with naught but the freshest vegetables from your garden and the finest, fattest hen. I would set the table with them fancy plates of Mr. Bilbo's -- you know the ones I mean, all trimmed in gold. The linen would be the purest white you've ever seen; the silver would be polished till it gleamed.

After, we would retire to the parlour, where a blazing fire would greet us. I would pour you a glass of Old Winyards and tuck a blanket tight around you as you relaxed in your favourite chair. I would curl myself upon the rug beside you, daring, maybe, as the hour grew late, to rest my head against your knee.

But all we have to sup on is a broth made of tough rabbit and the few roots I've gathered along the way. We share a single tarnished spoon and eat straight from my old cooking pot. Brackish water serves to quench our thirst. There is no blanket, no warm hearth.

Oh, I would make a feast for you, my love, if I only could...

I don't deserve your thanks for such meager fare.


	42. Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the memories press down upon me.
> 
> Frodo POV
> 
> Post quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 4 December 2005
> 
> Rated PG-13

~*~

  


Sometimes the memories press down upon me. My heart is wrapped in darkness and despair, and so I hide myself beneath the smothering bedcovers and pretend that I am buried in my grave.

But you always find me, Sam.

I hear your gentle voice calling me home. I feel your sure hands lifting away my burdens. You flood the darkest corners with the sunshine of your smile. You warm me in your arms. You fill me with your selfless devotion.

And I fly, my love, as our bodies move together. You give me hope. You bring me back to life.


	43. Yuletide Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Yule means to Frodo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written 23 December 2005
> 
> Rated PG

~*~

  


Yule never meant that much to me. It was a time for families to draw close together, and I had no one to call my own. Oh, my aunts and uncles were kind enough, in an absentminded way, but their smials were filled to overflowing with noisy fauntlings; a pale and quiet waif easily faded into the shadows.

Bilbo started the healing process: he gave me a home, respect, affection.

But you, Sam, are every Yuletime dream I ever had. You wrap me in your arms... you give me love. And with each kiss, a lifetime of loneliness is ended.


End file.
